Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Rancor Monster


No point in having the keeper if you don't have the cretaure itself. I LOVED this. You could make it's mouth open and close.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Nostalgia

Seriously, all this talk of Star wars has got me feeling very nostalgic. Since it is ONLY 10pm I am now going to go and watch the bonus disc from the SW DVD box set.

I will report on my other favourite pieces tomorrow.

D

Rancor Keeper

My Nanna Babs sent away for The Rancor Keeper after saving up little tokens from several other toys. It was such an exciting morning when that little package arrived but I had to wait it out the whole day at School before it was brought around to our house that evening.

he came in a little white box with my Nanna name and address printed on a sticker on the Side. What WILL he look like I thought. What WILL he feel like. Such experiences are now felt when waiting on Schoolcraft Coin Gaff or something.

You couldn't get The Rancor Keeper in the shops at that time so it was very very special indeed.

years later (through friends or plays I was in at the time) I had the pleasure of meeting three of the actors who had been in the Original movies. Julian Glover, Ian Mcdiarmid and Paul Brooke the guy who actually played this role in The Return of the Jedi. All three guys were quite open to talking about Star Wars Glover even enjoyed telling me how funny he thought it was that Alec (Guiness) was the only actor who had agreed to take 'Scale' instead of a wage.

Regret

Every now and then my girls will remind me of the regret I have at not keeping my Star Wars toys for them to enjoy. It's cute when your kids remind you of stuff like that by telling YOU the story you told them.

I told them about all of the figures and ships I had collected about six months ago when they started to show an interest in the movies. I explained that back when I was 10 I didn't know that I was going to be a daddy and that getting cash for a new computer desk was more important at the time. I had to put my 'Commadore 16' on something you know. So one cold winter afternoon in about 1984 or 85 I can't remember I lined up all the toys on the back lawn and most of the littler kids from the neighbourhood came along to grab the bargains. This sale happend only a few days after my final purchase, Luke Skywalker in a Stormtrooper outfit. Do you have any idea how cool that concept was to a 10 year old. Do you have any idea how cool that concept is to a 31 year old? I remember feeling mixed emotions that day. I didn't want to say goodbye to those things but I knew I had to. Some people let their toys go slowly, some never let them go at all. I let mine go and now I regret it. For the sake of the girls and for the sake of myself. Nothing would have given me more pleasure than being able to share all that stuff with them now....But it's gone. That cold winter afternoon and took a breath and gave up an entire life. I was able to LOOSE myself in Star Wars toys. I could lock myself in my bedroom and set up entire scenes on the window sill. Time quite literally stood still or passed with no consequence.

It's all gone now I rushed in like a fool. Sometimes you have to slow down. I still rush in now but I am much less of a fool and I am learning ways to deal with it. someone once said "When I became a man I put away childish things". What a twat.

Start buying it all back again I hear you say. Well there are a number of reasons why that is a ridiculous argument. 1) It's just not the same 2) I can't afford it as a way to just amuse myself whilst under the pretense that it is for the girls when they are really into Barbie. and 3) you can't get that stuff anymore. Also 4) it just wouldn't be nostalgia would it.....it would just be new toys. A crap new Starwars re- hash just like the crap new re- hash films they wasted money making. You CAN get the 'Original Trilogy' re- release figures though but like I said they are about $40. I imagine they were the equivalent back then too. I certainly remember them being more important back then. The toy shop I used had one of each figure (and they ALWAYS had the entire set bang up to date) under a GLASS COUNTER They also had a permanent member of staff behind it with all of the others on a peg rack at the back. You had to ask for the figure you needed and she would get it for you. How cool is that? SW figures were a class act when I was a kid. It was like going into Tiffany's.

Here are some of the pieces that I would have enjoyed watching Mad Violet (yes that IS me) playing with the most.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Tie Me Up. Tie Me Down.


Sometimes you get a very pleasant Suprise. For years I thought that The Royal Rope Magic DVD was probably pretty basic and not worth a look. I would sell it to begginers without really looking at the back and never putting it on to the big screen TV here at The Store. How wrong I have been in underestimating this DVD. Hosted by Tomas Medina who is in himself a hidden gem in my opinion this DVD has some equally 'gem like' rope routines on it. Routines including versions of The Ring on Rope, Kellar Rope Tie (performed as a nice card trick), Cut and Restored and Thumb Tie plus a full description of the small rope Long rope principle. A principle that I consider to be the ost important in all rope handling.

Copies can be purchased from The Magic Store for the ridiculous (Kamal Bhushan is going broke on these prices) price of $29.95

In general the Royal/Fun incorporated DVD's are much better than you think they are going to be. The Troy Hooser Cups and Balls one is another classic example of this.

Big Al's Lucky Card


You know that Al Capone had a lucky card right? It's true. Here why don't you point to one of these cards and sign HIS name on the face. Then we will always remember it as Big Al's Lucky Card.

Here I'll loose it in the deck just like the beggining of most good card tricks. The thing is Big Al always kept his card on top so he could deal it to himself in a game. I know it's not there now but if I snap my fingers...there it is. As long as it was on top he could deal seconds like this until he got to his spot. Let's loose it again.

I know what your saying. What about all those games he was in where he wasn't using his own deck. well he still carried it around with him. Right here in his pocket. I know that your thinking this card cannot possibly be Big Als but you'd be wrong. You see this card is indeed Big Als lucky card. You might be asking, "What if the back designs didn't match?" Yea, no one ever questioned it. They just let him win...All the time

You know, he used to play a game with his enemies....and some of his friends come to think of it. You had to cut to his card in a shuffled deck. If you got it right you could walk away with all of your limbs in tact. If you got it wrong, and I have to tell you that the stakes are pretty high, you had to put your finger in his famous cigar cutter. I got this on Ebay. I think it was part of a Hollywood estate from way back (Finger Chopper).

Want to play? Remember it's just for fun. Ok the card is lost. Cut the deck. What did you get? Oh what a surprise, you got it wrong. Put this card between your hands because I never want you to forget the reason why what is about to happen had to happen. Curl the fingers of your top hand around the lower hand but leave the fore finger sticking out.

Now you know what it must have felt like to be a gangster...living life on the edge every day.

CHOP!!!

Wow check it out. The solid blade has gone straight through your finger without harming it. You know why?

You got the right card.

Check it out.

There it is between your palms. Big Al's Lucky Card.....Keep that forever and if you ever get hard up you could always try to sell it on Ebay. After all it has been signed by Al Capone.

Have fun.

It's Because Things Just HAVE to have names...That's all.




Everything has to have a name. If this wasn't the case there would be anarchy.

I sometimes get puzzled looks when I refer to the 'over dribble of urine into the underpants in the moments after trying to put the old man away after a whizz' as a 'Wembley'

Or the' sticking up of the underpants into the crack of the backside as a 'Wedgie'

Or 'the accidental swallowing of one's own vomit whilst trying to control being sick in public' as a 'Blake Carrington'

Or the 'smell of a teenagers bedroom in the morning or a train carrige after 12 am that is neither faeces, bad breath, body odour , alcohol or cigarettes but rather a mixture of all six rolled into one pungent offense on the senses' as a 'Mingha'

Or 'the wearing of one's own trousers under a costume whilst on stage so you can get out of the building quicker as a or more specifically (TO) 'Loonie'

Or 'the fluffing of your words during the performance a magic trick' as a 'Leveridge'

Or the 'terminal illness caused by smoking way too many cigarettes in one's life that finally leads to horrible and often uncomfortable (because of a loss of essential fluids) death' as ' Lung Cancer'

I mean what else are you going to call these things.

So for all those times these things have happened to you and you could never put a name on it there you go. Things just HAVE to have names.

The End

#5 Mark McGann


No It's not the guy from 'Withnail and I' and 'Doctor Who'. He's already famous. neither is he the guy from the hit ITV sitcom 'The Upper Hand' or the OTHER brother 'Steven' who hasn't been in anything since 1994.

He's Mark. the same Mark who played a nearly flawless John Lennon in the 1985 biopic John and Yoko.

Mark McGann could have played any of the roles that Paul McGann played just as well as him.

Mark McGann.......Famous but not famous enough in my opinion.

#4 Basil Brush


Not strictly speaking an actor I still feel as if Basil Brush deserves a mention. This guy is a born showman and yet up until a recent redux of his show airing on the ABC I doubt anyone over here would have remembered him. I don't think anyone in the US knows who he is and that's a crime.

Basil Brush could have played any of the roles that went to 'Kermit the Frog' or 'Chucky'

Basil Brush.....famous but not famous enough in my opinion.

#3 Swoozie Kurtz


What's the deal with Swoozie Kurtz. Why hasn't she won an oscar? I have very little to say about this other than this woman should be a houshold name by now.

Swoozie Kurts is much better than Glenn Close or Gina Davis

Swoozie Kurtz...Famous but not famous enough in my opinion.

How Many Other People Can Say This?


I once spent three months sitting under the stage of The Globe Theatre dressed as a fish.

Score!

#2 Mark Lewis Jones


Here's another worker who has had to get up very early for the past twenty years. MLJ has enjoyed his fair share of juicy theatre rolls over the years some of which were among the major characters in Shakespeare and other classics. recently has had a little American interest but not enough in my opinion. This guy needs to be seen (on stage) to be fully appreciated. MLJ has amazing control and presence on stage which has enabled him to command a tremendous respect from both co- workers and audiences alike. This presence also translates very well to screen.

Lewis Jones could have easily been any of the characters played by Sean Bean or Hugh Jackman. He would also have made a great Lincoln Burrows in Prison Break.

Mark Lewis Jones...Famous but not famous enough in my opinion.

#1 Patrick Malahide


Ok so this guy has enjoyed a CERTAIN amount of US interest recently but why has it taken so long. Why isn't he a global houshold name yet? Why does everyone know who 'Bill Nighy' 'Kenneth Brannagh' or 'Alan Rickman' are but very few people world wide have ever heard of Patrick Malahide when he can act them all into the ground. Now even though this guy has never had to do a shift in McDonalds or even 'sigh on' for the past thirty years he has still had to WORK HARD for every cent and I include in that an approximate fifteen year stint on Minder. This guy has had got out of bed before 6am every morning for the past thirty years to go to a TV set or a cold rehearsal room and in addition to that he is an exceptional actor.

Malahide could have easily been James Bond, Hannibal Lecter or Charles Xavier with his hands tied behind his back.

Patrick Malahide...famous but not famous enough in my opinion.

Famous Actors Who Should Be MORE famous By Now.

Now I know what most people will say to that. That such actors should be grateful for what they have and why do they need a boost in confidence from me when there is over 70% unemployment. Well It's my blog and If I want to acknowledge that certain (current) stars of stage and screen should have been given the opportunity to take it to the NEXT level I bloody well will so here goes.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Still On The Subject


There's ONE crazy hospital for you.

A Search Result For Doctors Bag


Question?

What sort of doctor carries this sort of bag...oh err campaty camp camp???!!! don't trust him with a prostate examination..... Phnarr Phnarr!

Answer.....Maybe a 'female' doctor BAMM!

Busted!! I got you for being homophobic AND sexist...yes women can be doctors too.

SCORE!

Actual Bag


Here is a picture of the actual bag I found

SCORE!!!!

What a Find!


Ok you know how people who live in the suburbs often chuck huge amounts of domestic garbage on to the road out the front of their house in the hope that there MIGHT be a council collection sometime soon even though there have been no flyers through letterboxes about it and the people in question just want to get it out of the house? Ok. Now, you know how people who take that stuff because they think it will look good in their houses or because they think they can use it look like total scrubbers? Ok. Now you know how I always wanted a Doctors bag so I carry Cups and Balls and a close- up mat and linking rings and loads of trick decks and a Pom Pom Pole and be like David Jones and PaTtrick who both use one? Right. You know how I was walking to work this morning and I saw a really cool thing that someone was chucking out and I walked past because I didn't want to be a scrubber and take it in case someone saw me and how three seconds later I turned back got it and took it back home and then started out to work again looking around to make sure no one saw me? Yea well that thing was one of those Doctors bags I have been looking for for ages.

What a find. And since it was a free addition to my act I will not be putting my rate up becasue of it. Still $48 an hour then............. What a Scrubber

Monday, July 17, 2006

Classic Stuff


I just spent a night of classic Man in a Boys world indulgence. After dinner I drank a bottle of Traditional Lime Flavoured Schwepps whilst preparing for a kids show coming up on Sunday. It has been a while since I did a gig for this age group and so I had fun pulling out some props I hadn't seen for a while. Change bag, Big Bad Kong, Rocky Raccoon plus various silk products. After that I watched two episodes of the first series of The Twilight Zone. Much as I love this old show I still can't work out why the astronauts don't wear any helmets or protective space suits.

I have also noticed the recurring motif of 'loneliness' in The Twilight Zone. Has anyone else noticed that?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The God...Or Just A God?


This is a picture of my favourite magician. This is and has been the case for more years or reasons than I care to mention. ever since the first time I saw him on 'The Best Of Magic' and then later on 'The Magic Comic Strip'


OK Having said that If you do happen to be affraid of my best friend (palming) there is a routine you can practice to face and with any luck overcome those fears.

The routine is called 'Famous 3 Card Trick' and is a version of the six card repeat by David Willimson to be found on Dave's DVD 'Sleight of Dave' I have been doing this regularly for some months now

As well as incoporating the 'Classic Palm' to great effect the routine has near perfect construction and is also a psychological examination of the Elmsley Count with a huge potential for comedy and a cracker of a climax.

Because I thought the routine was a LITTLE too long I do the 'repeat' less times than Dave. I guess this confirms my theory that David Wiliamson is 'A' God and not 'The' God. A question that has been raging within the magic community for years.

David Williamson is appearing at this years 'Super Day Event' organized by Sean Taylor in Sydney Australia. The question being. "Do you really want to be in the prescence of your god or not? What would you say to him? What COULD you say to him? If you have an answer to these questions then go book yourself a ticket by calling this number (02) 94116233

Wrong


Laura lays on the foot of the bed
mimics a noose with the telephone cord
Doctor's on the phone then she hangs up and says
"I ain't never gonna see the winter again"

How can you not have a great day with these lines going round and round in your head.

OK seriously.......Much as I love Ryan Adams and the Cardinals I'd rather have Hannibal Lecter in my head.

These last few posts prove once again that my sister and her Bee Gee's hating boyfriend, Rory (yea he knows who he is) have an exceptionally wrong taste in music. It's not just this either. At Christmas Emma contaminated my i Tunes with loads of dubious albums including Louis the X1V. These guys encourage dominatrix and glorify pornography.

It was so different when I was in my twenties. We smoked dope, developed life long liver conditions and set fire to houses and you know what.....that was quite sufficient thankyou! We were happy without music.

Flooded


Well I have been flooded with questions about the 'Ryan Adams' song 'September' from a post a couple of days back.

Some people seem to be a little concerned about the fact that I think this is an up beat kinda song.

How could these lyrics not fill you with warm, fluffy, feelings of happiness?

They carved your name into the stone
and then they put it in the ground
I run my fingers through the grooves when no ones around
Drink 'till I'm sick and then I talk to myself
in the dog days of the summer

It's made my day anyway.

Dark Side Of Elton




It seems It's not only Pink Floyd who have embedded strange coincidences in their albums.

I have also noticed something strange when listening to Elton John and watching The Wizard of OZ at the same time.

OK this is really freaky but If you watch the last scene where Dorothy is leaving OZ and lsten to 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' it is very difficult to imagine that our old friend Elton didn't do this on purpose. Keep watching and yu will see some dogs of society come in to join the Tin man in a howling session. Soon after this The Scarecrow who has become disillusioned with being an academic and prefers life on the farm, leaves his penthouse to go back to the plough. To cap it all in the last five seconds if you watch really closely you see The Lion catch a Horney Backed Toad. BUSTED ELTON! We all know that Elton is a friend of Dorothy but this is ridiculous.

I also heard that he is trying to convince us of his hetrosexuality by getting married again. Pull the other one John. Next you 'll be telling us that those big pink afros were wigs.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Ultimate Feel Good Song


If you need a bit of cheering up why not download the song 'SEPTEMBER' from the album 'JACKSONVILLE CITY NIGHTS' by 'RYAN ADAMS AND THE CARDINALS.'

You will find this catchy little ditty going round and round in your head for weeks. Perfect for BBQs and Pass the Parcel games.