I'm Starving
Yep, and I am only at the start of a 5 day fast. Imagine the feelings at the start of a 44 day fast. Imagine the mental training one needs to go through to even reach THAT point. It is dedication to one's art that the bashers can only dream of. I'm Starving.
The most overwhealming feeling came very late last night. To be honest the hours went by quite quickly as I spent half the night trying to fix some problems I had with posting blogs. Once I had realized that this was an issue with Blogger and not me I stopped worrying about it and took the dog for a quick walk around the block. It was freezing and so I came back. I then tinkered on the computer a little more before settling down for about 2 hours in front of the TV with a cup of coffee and a glass of Coke Zero. (yes I decided to partake in the consumption of diet soft drink after all)
During these (waking) hours everything was pretty calm. I did have a sense of inner peace. The girls went to bed quickly and quietly. I sat with Joanne whilst she ate dinner and discussed the benefits of fasting outside of experimentation. Such as general detoxification. Jo went to bed and sat up and read for an hour or so before saying goodnight and that was pretty much that. It was later that the trouble began.
I woke up from a shallow sleep at around 3am with an intense need to eat. It was almost unbearable to the point that I was actually a little scared. I had a hightened sense of awareness and smell which had actually started earlier in the day. I could also hear every little sound outside. I got out of bed and went to the toilet. I had a really funny dry taste in my mouth which is still there today despite drinking lots and lots of water. I knew that I had to resist the urge to open the fridge, take something out and eat it but I have to tell you that the pain was very noticable. I went back to bed and to sleep. During this deep slumber I had an awfull dream about my daughter Violet which was the last thing I can remember. I rarely have dreams which feel real but this was an example of one and it was ugly as hell.
So, in summary, 'Day One' was pretty easy. Quiet uplifting to be honest. 'Night One' on the other hand was a literal nightmare.
Today is going pretty well but I can already hear those little phychological monsters in my head. And why is everybody EATING?
The most overwhealming feeling came very late last night. To be honest the hours went by quite quickly as I spent half the night trying to fix some problems I had with posting blogs. Once I had realized that this was an issue with Blogger and not me I stopped worrying about it and took the dog for a quick walk around the block. It was freezing and so I came back. I then tinkered on the computer a little more before settling down for about 2 hours in front of the TV with a cup of coffee and a glass of Coke Zero. (yes I decided to partake in the consumption of diet soft drink after all)
During these (waking) hours everything was pretty calm. I did have a sense of inner peace. The girls went to bed quickly and quietly. I sat with Joanne whilst she ate dinner and discussed the benefits of fasting outside of experimentation. Such as general detoxification. Jo went to bed and sat up and read for an hour or so before saying goodnight and that was pretty much that. It was later that the trouble began.
I woke up from a shallow sleep at around 3am with an intense need to eat. It was almost unbearable to the point that I was actually a little scared. I had a hightened sense of awareness and smell which had actually started earlier in the day. I could also hear every little sound outside. I got out of bed and went to the toilet. I had a really funny dry taste in my mouth which is still there today despite drinking lots and lots of water. I knew that I had to resist the urge to open the fridge, take something out and eat it but I have to tell you that the pain was very noticable. I went back to bed and to sleep. During this deep slumber I had an awfull dream about my daughter Violet which was the last thing I can remember. I rarely have dreams which feel real but this was an example of one and it was ugly as hell.
So, in summary, 'Day One' was pretty easy. Quiet uplifting to be honest. 'Night One' on the other hand was a literal nightmare.
Today is going pretty well but I can already hear those little phychological monsters in my head. And why is everybody EATING?
posted by Dean Atkinson at
8:36 PM
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